This is the greatest and most personal confession I have made.
You guys have seen that I have had some pretty corrosive qualities of my personality. I was mired in negativity for much of my life.
I have offended, made a fool of myself, displayed temper, shown impatience, and be outright blunt wherever I express myself.
It's all because I learned a number of my father's destructive behaviours. My father, while I have no hatred or ill feelings towards him, and, he did try his best, but, the problem was he was a very self-centred, stubborn, and overly proud man; he didn't know how to have relationships with other people, because, whenever there was something bad about the person, he would burn bridges with that very individual. He's now lonely because of it. My father never taught me how to be a man; once again, I have no resentment for him, it's that I want to be the man he never was. I am teaching myself all of that. I could not help myself, when I was an autistic child, my mind was easy prey for him. Because of those same qualities, I had issues with family, priorities, and, many other responsibilities.
I just started unlearning his bad habits, and, things have been looking up for me.
I'm becoming more confident in myself, I'm smiling, talking, and laughing with other people. I have more certainty in my words and actions. I'm not afraid of making the first move. And, I have never been more passionate about life before. At the same time, I want to be humble, listen to what others have to say, and, more importantly, have patience for everyone.
I have also come to peace with my family, who I treated poorly; I told my mother, "Mom! We're not perfect and I have my disagreements with you, but, I will live my own life. At the same time, I will honour your word." I now have very pleasant conversations with my elder siblings. I told them I wish I could have realised it sooner, because, I would have saved us so much trouble.
Yesterday, I finally came to peace with all my classmates. I said I had no hard feelings for any of them, I offered advice, and, I told everyone one of them I will see them at our reunion.
I still have a very long path ahead of me, but, I will keep pursuit and come out on top!
I will strive for balance in everything I do.
A lion has to prove his resolve if he ever wants to be revered by his pride. I will be that lion!
I want to conclude by saying I will put all of this behind me and move on!
To all of you on here, I offer my deepest and sincerest apologies for my disposition in the past and, this time, things will be very different. Count on it!